Trying to have "A New Beginning"

Every person around you is going 
to hurt you at some point of time.... 
But it's up to you to decide what's important.
The PAIN or the PERSON?

Ilang beses na akong nagstart sa lahat ng pagkakadapa ko! Ilang beses na rin kasi akong nadapa sa pareparehas na pangyayari. Hayz! 'Di na kasi nagtanda! Pero this time, mas malalim... At sinabi ko sa sarili ko, na "I'll never cross that line again".

Umaamin naman ako kapag nagkamali ako. I know how to say sorry when it is really necessary... But for now, hindi ko gagawin 'yun. I know na wala akong ginawang masama and they judged me already after all... Para saan pa? Right?!

I just need to move on. Move on from those stupid mistakes that I have done. Sigh!

Having mistakes doesn't mean that you're a bad person... It's part of your life. You don't have to focus on the wrong things that you've done because what's important is.... You've realized what is right!And I am right... Hindi ako nanakit at nagsabi ng masama tungkol sa kanila. They're in group, mag-isa lang ako. But the hell I care...

Sad na malapit na birthday ko :'( Mas lalong sad kasi magpaPasko... But it's okey... I totally erased them to my life. None of them will hurt me again kasi tinanggal ko na sila sa sirkulasyon ko. I allowed them to enter my life before... but I was wrong to let them in. May mga bagay kasi sa mundong ito na kahit anong gawin mo, they will always judge you and make you feel you're the worse.

And now... "A New Begining" na naman! Okey lang naman. At least, I still have the chance to start a new. Nakakapagod pero ganun talaga.



Just like 'yung mga alaga kong manok dito sa Mindoro. Parang kelan lang nang dumating ako rito at bago pa lang nangingitlog ang alaga kong manok at ngayon, inabutan pa ako ng pagpisa ng itlog dito. Haha! Nakakatuwa kasi parang mas excited pa ako sa inahing manok na makita ang mga sisiw since napanood ko ang pagpisa ng itlog na wala 'yung inahing manok.

Last November 1, dumalaw ako sa sementeryo... Hinintay ko muna na halos mawala ang mga tao and try asking my Dad (almost 1 1/2 years ng patay) about sa mga nangyayari sa akin. It's so hard to accept 'yung pagkamatay niya since ang dami niyang plans for me and ang dami naming plans ng Mommy ko for my Daddy. None of those ang nangyari kasi namatay siya bago ako grumaduate.

And now... Wala na siya, it's hard to plan again... Since those plans ko before ay parang wala nang saysay. Honestly, I don't know kung bakit buhay pa ako. I always have questions in my life ngayon... 'Coz I am always thinking that I am a total failure. The only reason for me to stay here in this world is my Mom. Para sa kanya na lang kaya ako nabubuhay. I just want to make my Mom happy... and that's it. No plans for myself na.

My life is a failure. Sa process ng DABDA, nasa 1st A pa rin ako... ANGER! Pero kahit slow, I am still thinking na magmove forward to it. Hayz :'(

God, please help me... I am so much in anger.. I can't feel the pain. I am so numb...




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7 comments:

Having mistakes doesn't mean that you're a bad person... It's part of your life>>> tama yan. the number o times you stumble wont matter much it's how many times youll stand up after each fall.

November 3, 2010 at 9:25 PM comment-delete

hi.. blog hopping here..
kita ko po link mo kay maquoleet..

oks lng yang pinagdadaanan mo.. lilipas din yun.. ang mahalaga yung mga natutunan mo along the way ;-)

i hope u can visit my blogs too.. see u!

November 7, 2010 at 4:49 AM comment-delete

hi.. blog hopping here..
kita ko po link mo kay maquoleet..

oks lng yang pinagdadaanan mo.. lilipas din yun.. ang mahalaga yung mga natutunan mo along the way ;-)

i hope u can visit my blogs too.. see u!

November 7, 2010 at 4:49 AM comment-delete

lahat tayo may pinagdadaanan. pasasaan ba at magiging maayos anglahat. basta tiwala lang tayo kay Lord :)

November 7, 2010 at 4:01 PM comment-delete

Hello there,

This is a question for the webmaster/admin here at adventuresofalionheart.blogspot.com.

May I use some of the information from this post right above if I give a link back to your website?

Thanks,
John

Anonymous
November 15, 2010 at 7:42 PM comment-delete

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Anonymous
November 21, 2010 at 2:07 PM comment-delete

you said you're gonna updated your blog. i believed in your word. tssk. nagabang pa naman ako.

Anonymous
November 28, 2010 at 12:15 PM comment-delete