The Inday Adventures (Manuscript)

I just want to share all of you the Inday manuscript circulating around the cellular phones here in the Philippines and even abroad! Pang international talaga ang mga texts ng mga Pinoy! Haha..

This is just a collection of some Inday quotes na narecieve ko sa cellphone ko. Enjoy!

* * * * *

Dahil sa tindi ng kahirapan sa probinsya, namasukan si Inday bilang katulong sa Maynila. Habang ini-interview ng amo…

Amo: Kelangan namin ng katulong para mag ayos ng bahay, magluto, maglaba, magplantsa, mamalengke, at magbantay ng mga bata. Kaya mo ba ang lahat ng ito?

Inday: I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the use of standard tools, and my discipline and experience will contribute significantly to the value of the work that you want, my creativity, productivity and work-efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can offer will boost the work progress.

Amo: [nosebleed]

Kinabukasan, habang nasa opisina ang amo, may tumawag sa telepono.

Inday: Hi, you are calling in the midst of me cooking our lunch, my superiors aren't around. I'm the immediate person in support. How may i help you? If you wish to leave a message, an abrupt tone means your diverted to our voicemail.

Caller: [Ibinaba ang telepono]

Nakaraan ang dalawang araw, umuwi ang amo, nakitang me bukol si junior.

Amo: Bakit me bukol si junior?

Inday: Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy's cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.

Amo: [nosebleed ulit]

Kinagabihan, habang naghahapunan.

Amo: Bakit maalat ang ulam?

Inday: The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased amount of sodium chloride (NaCl) affected the taste drastically and those actions are irreversible. I do apologize.

Amo: [nosebleed na naman]

Tapos, sabi pa...

Amo: Bakit tuwing paguwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanunuod ng tv?!

Inday: Because I don't want you to see me doing absolutely nothing.

Amo: [hinimatay]

Kinabukasan, sinamahan ni Inday si junior sa principal's office dahil di makapunta ang amo at donya.

Principal: Sinuntok ni junior ang kanyang kaklase.

Inday: It's absurd! It was never a fact that he will inflict a fight. I can only imagine how you handle schizophrenic kids on this educational institution. Revise your policies because they suck!

Principal: [nag resign]

Pag dating sa bahay, nandun na ang amo, galit na galit.

Amo: Inday, bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?!

Inday: A change in the weather patterns might have occurred wrecking havoc to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates that the gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path it was heading for.

Amo: [nosebleed ulit]

Habang nagluluto si Inday ng hapunan, malikot si junior.

Inday: Stop your raucous behavior. It is bound to result in property damages and if that happens there will be corresponding punishment to be inflicted upon you!

Junior: [takbo sa CR, punasan ang nagdudugong ilong]

Pagkatapos magluto, nanood na ng TV si Inday. Nabalitaan nya umalis si Angel Locsin sa GMA 7.

Junior: Bakit kaya sya umalis?

Inday: Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons but because they just know that things will get worse if they'll stay. Leaving can be a tough act, and it's harder when people can't understand you for doing so.

Junior: [tuloy ang pagdugo ng ilong]

Dumating ang amo bago maghapunan.

Amo: Day! Bakit may rashes si Junjun?

Inday: Allergens triggered the immune response. Eosinophillic migratin occurs to the reaction site and release of chemotactic and anaphylotoxin including histamine and protaglandins. These substance results to increased circulation to the site promoting redness.

Amo: Sori?

Nung gabing yon, me nag text ke Inday. Si Dodong, ang driver ng kapitbahay, gusto maki pag text-mate.

Inday: To forestall further hopes of acquaintance, my unfathomable statement to the denial of your request - Petition denied.

Di naglaon, dahil sa tyaga ni Dodong, nagging syota nya rin si Inday. Pero di tumagal ang kanilang relasyon, at nakipag-break si Inday ke Dodong.

Inday: The statute restricts me to love you but you have the provocations. The way you smile is the proximate cause why I love you. We have some rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other because the upper household dismissed my petition!

Dodong: Perhaps you are mistaken, what you seem to contrive as any affections for you are somewhat half-hearted. I was merely attempting to expand my network of interests by involving you in my daily recreation. Heretofor, you can expect an end to any verbal articulation from myself.

Me dumaan na mamang basurero, at narinig ang usapan ni Inday at Dodong.

Basurero (sabi ke Inday): Be careful in letting go of the things you thought are just nothing because maybe someday you'll realize that the one you gave away is the very thing you've been wishing for to stay.

Kinagabihan, kinausap si Inday ng kanyang amo...

Inday: Being a third party doesn't mean that you're destroying a relationship. It only means that you make two souls realize that they are not meant to be!

More Inday Quotes:

I pity you for you have degraded your very own pride and dignity by resorting to this despicable behavior just for the sake of having something to feed your fetish appetite for wealth and i hope that one day you'll be rational enough to realize that you should not use other humans as means in the attainment of your ends. As what the great philosopher Kant uttered, 'treat a man as an end in himself'.
- sagot ni inday sa dugu-dugu gang na tumawag sa bahay ng amo nya

Attached herewith is a list of proposed acquisition in line with my proposal to upgrade your household facilities. I have already made initial survey of current market prices. Note however that prices could vary depending on the prevailing exchange rate and aggregate supply and demand which we also monitor on an hourly basis. ·
- si inday, nagpapaalam para mamalengke
The dwindling resource of hydrogen2 and oxygen present, coupled with the stabile amount of precise heat in the thermal environ of the vessel, resulted in the premature hydration of the 'Oryza Sativa', hence the calefaction factor was rendered lost and wandering when the algid formation came about. ·
- sagot ni inday kung bakit HILAW ang kanin
Ipomea aquatica has become the constant ingredient to this filipino delicacy which is very helpful in the digestion during the peristaltic process of the food we intake. Due to the continuous rains and floods, the harvest of the said vegetables has lessen the production in the market. ·
- banat pa ni inday sa amin kung bakit walang kangkong sa nilutong sinigang
Drunken tiger shrimp and blue lobster meat, cut diagonally and caviar served with milagrosa rice (red variety) and apricot sauce. Vegetables in balsamic vinegar splashed with extra virgin olive oil garnished with mint leaves. Lychee and peach salad ·
- inihanda ni inday para ibaon ni jun-jun sa daycare
Physical stress and excessive work may result to serious damage to one's body. It is therefore essential that once in a while, we take a break from our usual routine to replenish our lost energy. ·
- sagot ni inday sa amo niya ng ayaw syang payagan mag day-off

9 comments:

hahaha.. magna cumlaude c inday? hehe.. kabog.

October 24, 2007 at 1:17 AM comment-delete

i can't imagine a tough yaya like this which is very fluent in english? omg.. nose bleed talaga! ;)

October 24, 2007 at 4:14 AM comment-delete

naku, muntik na akong mag nose bleed din kay Inday....ang daming alam pang export ata itong Inday nato.


Musta na?

October 24, 2007 at 6:20 PM comment-delete

Nung una rin nabasa ko ang mga text messages about kay Inday... nawindang ako!

Talo pa ako sa pag i english... Kabog ang lahat!

Well, that's Pinoy.... Hindi papatalo!

October 24, 2007 at 10:16 PM comment-delete

May bago pang Inday Jokes...

SAN PEDRO: Inday, bakit ka namatay?

INDAY: Damn that envious boss of mine. If it wasn't for her, that bullet wouldn't have damage the blood vessels in my brain which caused severe hemorrhage and brought me to the state of hypovolemic shock. Unfortunately, those incompetent doctors and nurses weren't able to help me so I had to face the wrath of death. So my body went thru algor, livor and rigor mortis.

SAN PEDRO: [NOSEBLEED]

CHICKEN: [Feathers fell off]

Inday sent back to Earth. Lagot ang amo!

October 26, 2007 at 4:15 AM comment-delete

sobra nato si inday...hihi...me mga words cya na di ko alam...

October 26, 2007 at 11:16 PM comment-delete

alam mo na nagspanish na si inday kc daw nag-aral ng mabuti yung amo nya?...pati rin french di pinatawad?...hehehe...aliw talaga!
care
anyway, care for exlinks?

October 27, 2007 at 1:44 AM comment-delete

ing..ing..ing...
nandito na naman ang uber powerful na si inday

October 29, 2007 at 2:29 AM comment-delete

this post is so funny
hahyahahahahaha
nosebleed to the max herk herk hekr

November 26, 2007 at 11:19 PM comment-delete